Forward, Preamble, Prologue, Threshold, Whatever...

I'd like to introduce you to the characters that frequent this Greek Comedy (or tragedy??) that is my life.

GRACE-That's me. The leading lady. Ingenue? Hardly. That implies some sort of innocence and "damsel in distress" type chick. That ain't me. I'm in my mid 20's and I'm looking for my place in love, in the entertainment industry and eternal happiness. Shouldn't be too hard, huh?

I'm dramatic and clumsy (a powerful combination I tell ya). I'm joyous and loud, often at the same time, with a bit of childlike happiness thrown in for good measure. But at the same time, I'm sex driven. I might as well be a fourteen year old boy sportin' endless wood. My tendency to get lonely easily has led me astray on more than one occasion, looking for that elusive knight in shining armour. Hell, who am I kidding? The armour doesn't exactly have to be shining...

In addition to the day job that I love that pays next to nothing, I sling drinks at night as my primary source of income. This used to be only a job, but lately I've realized that bar tending is where I do most of my socializing and the only way I meet men. So not only has the Brouhaha been my primary bill payer, but also my brick-and-mortar match.com

MY FRIENDS... GOD BLESS 'EM...

MOMMA--a fellow bartender at the Brouhaha, and one of my very best friends. Mid-20's beautiful, prim and proper. She's my opposite in every way: level-headed, responsible. She is the eternal voice of reason. When I have my head in the clouds, she is usually holding my feet to the ground, ensuring I don't float off into the La-La land I create.

The other girls at the bar can often be heard gossiping about their sexploits from the previous night, and all stories end with "But don't tell Momma..." We all live in fear of disappointing her, even though she is definitely the "one phone call" I would make.

TISA: My other best friend, and the other end of the spectrum from Momma. She's a mid-20's beauty, willowy and blonde. If I didn't love her so much, I'd hate her out of sheer jealousy. Tisa was my roommate in college and I may or may not be the reason she didn't quite graduate (although at one point, she and I formulated a plan to make her parents think she graduated...) She lives somewhere in the Midwest but hopes to move to Nashville sometime in the spring to pursue her musical dreams. My true partner in crime. When I turn to Momma, it's cause I need to be scolded. When I turn to Tisa, I get coddled. Perfect :)

SNOW WHITE: A bartender at the Brouhaha in her late 20's. Beautiful and slightly misguided, she has been in a long term relationship with SHOOTER that doesn't seem to be working out. Both are great people, just maybe not great for each other. Snow White is a lost soul, biding her time by working at the bar until she figures out what she wants to be when she grows up. I hope she finds it soon because I see her heading towards a self-destructive path littered with Miller Lite bottles and cigarettes. But a wonderful soul nonetheless. She has often been a shoulder to cry on when Momma will only say "Told you so" and Tisa won't answer her phone.

CRAZY: Sometimes featured in conjunction with CRAZY HUBBY. Early 40's party-er! She's a fabulous distraction from the shitty dates I find myself on. One never knows what a night out with her will include--you may find yourself sneaking backstage at a Bon Jovi concert, or another night could include a fashion show with all her clothing from 1983, fueled by margaritas. Sometimes she can be a bit much--I've found there is a direct correlation with the amount of tequila that goes in her to the type (and volume) of information that comes out of her mouth.

DB: Now I'm not sure exactly if this guy belongs under "Friends" or "Love Interests." An early 30's dude (dude!?) I met at the Brouhaha. My first words to him were "You and I would have beautiful children" but our friendship really took off after a date he and I went on this summer--a night that nobody has been able to classify as "Yes, this is definitely a date" or "No.. soooo not a date."

He's like a brother to me--we go to movies, concerts, we talk on the phone for hours. All the girls at the Brouhaha claim that he and I are dating, but there have been none of what I call the hallmarks of dating... namely, make-out sessions. And the girls don't quite realize that our hours long phone conversations are mostly each of us venting about our dating lives--the girls he's trying so hard to screw and all the boys that are constantly revolving in and out of my favor.

DB can be a little brash. He has a penchant for shocking people with all the idiot things that come out of his mouth, and he's been on the receiving end of a punch on more than one occasion. After ten minutes of talking to a girl, he's more likely to receive a slap on the face than her phone number ("Wow! I just want to give your boobies a high five!") Many of the girls at the Brouhaha can't stand him, they think he's cocky and self-centered. I, however, have gotten to know him enough to figure out this behavior is a guise and done mostly for shock value. I find his antics quite amusing.

BRIAN: My gay boyfriend located in Chicago. A friend from college who is always good for a laugh and a little perspective. He is wise as hell. Brian is the greatest friend because he will find a reason for you why everything that is going wrong in your life is not your fault, but in fact, is the universe's fault. He has a file folder that contains all his friends' astrological star charts and when you call him with a problem, he consults your chart and tells you the reason Boy X never called was because Mercury was in retrograde. Every girl needs a gay boyfriend.

AND NOW PRESENTING.........(INSERT DRUMROLL).... THE BOYTOYS

These characters are constantly entering and exiting from my world. Some make interesting cameo appearances from time to time. Momma hates them all.

DOUGHBOY: Hopefully you will never get to meet him. The days of his cameo appearances are long over, but he's essential nonetheless. I'll give you the abridged version--the whole story is sordid and tragic and ugly. He broke my heart badly. Badly. I jumped into a relationship with him with all my might--giving away my heart a little too freely. We broke up and he moved away, which is partly why we broke up. It ended so badly that we act as if the other doesn't exist at all. He's the reason I can be so guarded with my heart now with some people.

GIBSON: This is the first bar customer I actually dated. Late 30's, recently divorced and he actually lives in Seattle but was in Nashville one week a month for work. Brilliant, charming, hottie. He is one of the most amazing writers I know, since most of our communication was done via email. Did I mention he is HOT?? HAWT! We had amazing chemistry.... oy....

He no longer comes to Nashville, but occasionally, Gibson will make an appearance in the form of a text message or a steamy email. For a few brief moments in time, I believe we were in love with each other, but it was never a relationship that was meant to last. We both filled a need that the other had at those particular phases in our lives. I can't help but compare every guy I meet to Gibson...

ROVER: Momma once referred to Rover as Gibson 2.0. He's very much like Gibson--a successful executive, Detroit native, hockey freak, daddy, and he even lives across the street from the house that Gibson lived in while he was based out of Nashville. But Rover is the improved Gibson because he's HERE! Not in Seattle.

But Rover has his flaws... A bit of a womanizer, Rover doesn't know exactly what he wants out of life and love. A mid 30's Nashville playboy. He's notorious for breaking dates with me, and he's fallen out of favor with most of my friends (and yet I go back for more...). I have a hard time believing the complimentary things that come out of his mouth towards me--they just sound too.... "right thing to say," you know? It's like he's said that same thing to many other women before me...

He and I are both guarded towards each other. Don't ever call him my boyfriend. He's my boyTOY of over six months. He's constantly referred to, in my mind, at the Great Mistake of 2006. But I go back for more...

JOHN GALT: He is a mid 30's entertainment exec going through a bitter divorce. (I sure know how to pick 'em, huh?) He was once upon a time an acquaintance but one night after a heated discussion about literature and politics and the music business, we started to see each other. Stupid Grace...

So there you go. Those are the most important characters in the play that is my mid twenties. I guarantee you a story filled with laughter and unbelievable situations. I couldn't possibly make this shit up.

Oh yeah, I cuss a lot, too.